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Love, connection & oxytocin

    hug generating connection oxytocin

    By Corine Brooks

    Experiencing love or developing relationships in any society can be hard. We go through so much as individuals. When we add other human beings into our daily lives and routines, there has to be communication, empathy and compassion between one another so the relationship grows in a positive direction.

    When communication doesn’t happen, or it’s not clear, and when we don’t empathize and have compassion for our partners, then relationships stay stagnant and it can cause pain and suffering.

    Have you heard of Oxytocin?

    Oxytocin is a hormone and a neurotransmitter that is involved in childbirth and breastfeeding. It is also associated with empathy, trust, sexual activity, and relationship-building.

    It is sometimes referred to as the “love hormone,” because levels of oxytocin increase during hugging and orgasm. It may also have benefits as a treatment for a number of conditions, including depression, anxiety, and intestinal problems.

    Nevertheless, oxytocin does appear to be associated with social behavior, including maternal care, bonding between couples, sexual behavior, social memory, and trust.

    When a baby cries, they are communicating to their parents. When the parents empathize and show compassion for the crying baby, they are understanding and relieving the suffering of the child in need by providing what the baby needs. Oxytocin is released between both the parent and the child and a bond is built.

    When a significant other is pained with depression and is not verbally communicating their emotions and the reasons for why they are acting rashly…etc, their partner may not understand why their relationship is in a rut. Neither partner would be getting the support they need to alleviate the depression and help support the relationship. When their needs are not being met and their relationship is heading down hill, it may come to an end.

    When a mother is dealing with a child who is not able to regulate emotions, they need support. If they feel unable to communicate their needs, to receive empathy and compassion from those she has communicated with, then she may stop talking. When this happens, the mother, child and any other person involved in their life, are likely to suffer. The individual relationships connected to the mother and child are suffering because there is a link in the system (the mother) who is stressed and over loaded. She may be depressed, agitated, angry…etc. All of these emotions have symptoms of:

    • Shock, denial, or disbelief
    • Confusion, difficulty concentrating
    • Anger, irritability, mood swings
    • Anxiety and fear
    • Guilt, shame, self-blame
    • Withdrawing from others
    • Feeling sad or hopeless
    • Feeling disconnected or numb.

    Learn to COMMUNICATE effectively. Communication, empathy and compassion are key to make any relationship work. Then you will be able to experience true connection with the people you love and experience the oxytocin love hormone that this generates.

    Need help learning new communication tools?

    Call Ardent Center, Counseling For Meaningful Change:

    (888) 870-1775, between 9am and 5pm.

    Ardent offers a wide range of counseling services with professionals in all areas.

    If you have insurance, most of the cost of your session may be covered by your insurance. If you don’t have insurance, we provide a sliding scale of fees depending on which therapist you see and your financial situation. We provide face to face counseling if you live in Chicagoland and Iowa and counseling anywhere via online counseling.

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