Relationship advice: How to not get lost in “the other”

An excerpt from Dr Scott Terry’s book “Take Charge Of Your Life“:

“We lose who we are, because we are so focused on what they are saying or doing, and how we are supposed to react to them. We need to get to the point where we can say, “their stuff” is “their stuff”, and “mine” is “mine”.

My job is to care, but not to get trapped in what I cannot, nor should not control. How do I find myself, without getting lost in another, or what is outside me? How do I remain happy, regardless of the changes in things that I cannot control? You cannot control the weather, just like you cannot control, in any real way, someone else – that’s their job, to learn to control themselves, and all you can and should do, is to be there to help. And even in helping, we can only help if someone asks us to help or if they accept our offer of help. We can’t force our “help” on someone.”

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