Start now
We recommend that you begin by monitoring where you are now.
Download and print Keeping a log of your life.
These are some simple charts you can use to see where you are
at.
Here are the reasons you need to start doing this today:
You will reduce your stress, and thus, give yourself the chance
to actually change the things that are bothering you.
By doing these types of activities, with yourself, or with someone
else, you will change your way of being with your self, and being
with others, that will make profound differences in who you are
being.
Most importantly,
it gives a clear and direct signal to yourself that you are
taking control of you – now – that you
are no longer running away from yourself or from what is bothering
you and that you are going to make your life to better. Instead
of just wishing for things to change, you are actually changing
the things that you want to change. You are in control of you.
No one else. Just you. You are not in control of anyone else.
Everyone has autonomy for themselves. You cannot change anyone
(not for long). No one can change you (not for long, not really).
You need to start now. Doing a few physical things to show
yourself
that you are back in the driver seat will start you on the road
to making the difference that you need, for you (and by changing
you, you will influence others to change themselves, for their
self).
Look at your reasons
for doing things. Are you eating lot of sugar becausse you
crave stimulation and you are not getting the
fulfillment you need in your life? Are you a "stim junkie"?
Balance. It is not just about finding your center again, but
finding a balance for yourself between the confusions in your
life.
We say we all want change. No cost. No hassle. No time. But our
choices really are, what are we really willing to take control
of ourselves (not of anyone else in our life's, but us), to make
that positive shift happen? It takes effort to get healthy and
to stay healthy.
Here is the simplest thing I know of. Maybe not to complete that
change, but to at least get that ball rolling, to get ourselves
on the right track, so we can make that change happen. It is up
to us to start to make things happen for ourselves. As a therapist,
I can help, but you have to, on some level, start to want change,
for change to start to happen for you. None of the principles
below will be enough of what you want to grow and change for yourself,
but they are a start on the path back to you. Each one of any
and all of the exercises can be both a tool to help you grow,
and a weapon against yourself.
So these are the basics. This is what I say to just about every
person who walks in my door. This is what I have said to my mother.
Start here. It won't solve your problems, but it will put you
back in the road to being in control of you, so that you can solve
your own problems. Be careful of turning a tool for change into
a weapon against yourself.
Cleaning up your diet
is great – but living only for food,
only to eat, is getting lost. Stress reduction is essential – joining
a cult is not. Exercising is fantastic way to treat depression
and many other things, but if you exercise too much, you will
just get hurt and this will take you away from what you needed
to feel in the first place. Getting the proper sleep is absolutely
mandatory. Sleeping all day, every day, is just getting lost.
The word is, "balance", "balance" for
you, you, now.
Window dressing
It is not enough to change the plates on the table, when the
whole meal doesn't work. It is not enough to change just a little,
when a radical overhaul is what's required. It is another way
to run away, to change a little something, when a lot of the right
thing is required.
Stop. Stop. Stop with all your destructive habits. You are not
a child anymore, so stop running away from what you need to do
for you - be it stopping the drugs and alcohol or just not being
so self-indulgent. Come back to who you need you to be, for you,
now.
Other resources
We can refer you to a number of excellent resources such as websites
and books on a range of topics. If you require information about
a particular concern or you would like to receive some free exercises
or a short free therapy session, please email us via info@ardentcenter.com.
What
should I do next?
Contact us to arrange for individual, couple or family therapy in the Chicago, Evanston or Schaumburg Illinois areas by phoning
1-888-870-1775 or by emailing info@ardentcenter.com.
