Gifted LD, dual cognitive

Imagine what you could do if….

We all have some discrepancies between who we are and who we would like to be. We all have gaps as well (eg the distinction between what we are good at and what we struggle with). Sometimes it is not so simple. For example, we might be good at computer programming, but we might not be good at making friends. Or we might be good at sales, but we are shy when it comes to starting relationships.

The school system sometimes wrongly diagnoses people as having learning difficulties without appreciating the fact that they may be gifted in another area.

Sometimes there is a cognitive gap as well that causes us stress even when we are no longer at school. This cognitive gap can make us look like we are really strong in what was difficult for others. For example, we might be good at understanding concepts or "how to think". Or more specifically, math theory, creative writing, the arts etc.

And yet we may still be bad at the details or "what to think" or we may not be good at math, facts, grammar, spelling etc.

Or maybe even being able to focus as well as we would like.

Some of us may in fact, be gifted or talented or just have more special abilities in one particular area. Sometimes we may appear smarter than others around us, while at the same time we may have a learning disorder or some sort of an attention or focusing issue, Asperger's Syndrome or some physical disability.

The concept is that sometimes these gaps between us and our world can cause us significant distress. Sometimes we may not even be aware of the fact that it is this matter that is causing our distress. It may even be that this difficulty that is preventing us from succeeding in the way that we could or should. So that is why it is important that this duality in the way we function is addressed.

To address this, we need to work with both sides – so not just the deficit, but also with the area we are skilled in. So understanding and really working with your strength as well as with the area of difficulty.

Both sides need to be equally addressed. The gap between these arenas also needs to be looked at. The issues or concerns that have arisen because both sides were not fully understood or worked with also need to be dealt with. For example, because we were not looked at as a whole person – a totality – our whole way of being in this world, we may not feel fully appreciated.

We can help. We really do understand. It is time to become whole. It is time for you now. It is time. The answer is in the gaps - in the connectedness between the two sides of ourselves. Maybe they are not two disparate sides of yourself tearing you apart – one dragging you down so you never achieve your full potential and the other lifting you up. So you may be smarter and better than others around you, but still never living up to what you "could be" or "should be" or "desire to be" because the other side of yourself let's you down and because you and/or other people don't accept you as a whole person.

Maybe there is a way to not just connect these two poles together, but to fulfill the needs of both places inside you. Maybe there is a way to find harmony or at least a little bit of peace of mind as you learn to work as one fully integrated person.

It is an imaginary fantasy to think that anyone can be perfect in all aspects of themselves. Shakespeare is right to some extent when he said "to err is to be human".

Schools often cater only to the deficits not to the strengths if they even notice that there is a problem at all. One side learns to compensate for the other side, thus, the full extent of the difficult is rarely discovered at all. And when it is, generally only one side is dealt with - the deficit. The deficit is addressed whilst not considering and nurturing the strength.

Or the gift or talent is fostered while the deficit is ignored or not fully supported in the way it needs to be. For example, a virtuoso pianist may be encouraged to practice and perform and the fact that they are not able to do basic math may be ignored. Later in life, however, this may become a real problem as they are unable to balance their check book.

It is not that a person has to excel at both sides, but that having two distinct conditions means that one is not learning disabled and/or gifted, but that one has a distinct condition which combines the two characteristics. This unique condition is what needs to be addressed. The key is integration. It is not that the strong side is imperative and needs to dominate over the weaker part of us, and compensate for it, but you have to try and improve your deficit and/or find workaround solutions for it (eg use a computer spell-checker if you are not good at spelling and substitute other words if necessary). So you have to take steps and do something, not just wish it would go away. The main thing is to focus on your whole person and what you want to achieve and not limit yourself because of your deficit.

Sometimes it is not even a matter of realizing that there are two convoluted sides of us, because actually there are so many aspects of ourselves that these are just two parts of a complex whole. And we have to work with all these aspects – we have to work with the whole of us.

What should I do next?

Contact us to arrange for individual, couple or family therapy in the Chicago, Evanston or Schaumburg Illinois areas by phoning 1-888-870-1775 or by emailing info@ardentcenter.com.